We are in that time of year where many yachts are bringing on new crew for the winter season. That means new and exciting — and sometimes quite challenging — opportunities are beginning.
Many feelings and emotions can be aroused with these new positions. One may feel excited, maybe nervous or anxious; these feelings are to be expected. Where you don’t want to go is slipping into fear.
You probably have heard the quote that those with courage “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Well, that may be true but how about if you just don’t let yourself get to fear in the first place?
Fear can be a tough opponent but it can be one you don’t have to take on if you are armed with some tools. Here are three that can hold back fear: honesty, confidence and desire.
If you’ve been honest from the start — with your CV, at your interview and with yourself — you have just given fear a much narrower window to slide in. Let me put it this way: if you lied on your CV and in your interview and to yourself, you probably should be afraid. There is a good chance things may not work out too well. Lies about experience and skills will be exposed and probably sooner than later.
You have given yourself the gift of fear because you know you are not genuine, not the real deal. Lying to secure a position is bad energy right from the start. Why put yourself in this position? You may say you really needed the job and were desperate and willing to say anything. I would say desperation and lies are a foundation built on quicksand and you are probably going down. Please don’t do this to yourself. Does self-inflicted fear and insecurity sound like a winning formula? Of course not. Do yourself a big favor and start out the right way.
Next up, let’s talk a bit about confidence. First, understand there is a big difference between confidence and arrogance or cockiness. Self-confidence is a strength. It is strongly rooted yet understated. It is not loud and “look at me” but rather an inner knowing. It’s an energy that radiates “ready, willing and able”.
You have stated your abilities and experience honestly. You know what you can do and you know you are capable of more. You welcome challenges because you know that helps you grow. You share your knowledge freely because you are secure and authentic. Your confidence is contagious. Those less confident around you absorb your energy and raise their confidence levels.
But what if you’ve struggled and failed a few times, how can you be so confident? First, by understanding that most of us have had struggles and most people have failed at something. Begin to associate with confident, positive people. Get away from anyone who puts down your abilities and tries to drown your possibilities. It’s important to realize the effect those around you can have.
We are not born with a strong self-confidence; we build it. You build it piece by piece until you have a good steady structure, then you shore it up from time to time when needed. If you think you need to build your confidence, start by taking on some small challenges. Get some victories under your belt and get some momentum going.
Remember, knowing how you want to be can be as important as who you want to be.
The last tool is a big one, and it is desire. Fears can really be held at bay by a strong desire. Combine this strong desire with honesty and confidence and you’ve got a winning formula. If I were a betting man I would bet on your success. A strong desire can override fear. It can lock fears out at the gate. They are not allowed to enter this field of burning desire. You just won’t allow it. A strong desire creates a focus and that focus does not want to be disturbed by made-up fears and negativity.
Fear can create an uncertainty and hesitation that can slow your flow if you let it in. Focus on the desire and enjoy the process.
So to all you crew taking on a new opportunity this winter, Don’t let fear interfere with your direction. Be honest from the start, confident in your abilities and have a strong desire, and you’re on your way.
Enjoy the voyage.
Rob Gannon is a 25-year licensed captain and certified life and wellness coach. He offers free sample coaching sessions and can be reached at email@example.com. Comments are welcome at firstname.lastname@example.org.