NEVER HAVE I EVER: Yacht Edition

May 25, 2022 by Triton Staff

Blow off some steam with this revealing game of naughty nuggets.

Amid the beautiful surroundings and 5-star service, we yacht crew can experience some “unusual” moments. And we need to decompress — sometimes with extra sleep, sometimes with fitness, and sometimes with games. Drinking games.

Enter the always fun and illuminating “Never Have I Ever,” Yacht Edition. Rules are easy: If you have experienced one of these items, you must perform the agreed upon task, whether it be pushups, dish duty, taking a swig or whatever other entertaining things you and your crew can come up with.

Let this be your starter guide and add on as stories emerge. It’s a fun way to get to know each other and have gratitude for wherever you are right now.

  • Put a tender on the hip in 6-foot swells.
  • Backed over the tender tow lines.
  • Deleted the chart course while underway.
  • Popped a fender.
  • Laid down on the crew mess table surrounded by the deck team wearing towels on their heads while the captain chanted in a fake language in order to get a raise.
  • Had five engineers at once on a 150-foot boat.
  • Watched the captain walk off before the boat was even properly docked.
  • Had a management company take control of a boat.
  • Been anchored for months with no land.
  • Hid in the empty hot tub so the captain couldn’t find you.
  • Hid in a bilge so the captain couldn’t find you.
  • Never have I ever been on a boat where three captains, two engineers and two stews left within one month.
  • Been abandoned by a captain on a yacht.
  • Had sex with a fellow crew member on the crew mess table.
  • Had sex with a charter guest.
  • Taken drugs with charter guests.

  • Been asked to provide drugs to guests.
  • Been asked to provide birth control to guests.
  • Had a guest bring guns on board.
  • Had an HOD meeting at a strip club.
  • Had a charter guest shit the bed.
  • Had to clean explosive diarrhea from the master bathroom sink.
  • Had to clean human excrement out of the skupper.
  • Had to feed the owners’ prostitutes at 4 a.m.
  • Had to cross dress for guests’ entertainment.
  • Had to make a cake resembling genitals.
  • Had to flirt with the customs officer to get us processed back into the States.
  • Had to clean around an owner’s used sex toys.
  • Had to unpack the guests’ sex toys.
  • Seen a meteor shower from the sun deck while underway.
  • Seen a double rainbow off the bow.
  • Swam with dolphins.
  • Rode a seabob into a shark.
  • Had to swim out and rescue jet skis that floated away.
  • Fed champagne from a bottle into the mouths of guests in a floaty being towed by a Williams.
  • Caught fish with guests who then announced they won’t eat it and that it was just for pictures.
  • Got attacked by a gang of iguanas during the guest beach BBQ.
  • Been alone on the yacht for a week.
  • Had to cover for an owner’s or guest’s cheating.
  • Called the coast guard or flag state on a captain/vessel.
  • Fought a fire on board.
  • Heard my fellow crew having sex.
  • Been fired for not liking the owners’ dog.
  • Had to do a guest’s makeup.
  • Witnessed an engagement proposal on board.
  • Break up a domestic dispute between guests.
  • Wrestled a drunken guest away from boarding the wrong yacht.
  • Bribed a customs official to release provisions.
•  Fallen off the dock coming back from a bar.
•  Sank the golf cart — drunk or sober.
•  Been naked in front of my crewmates.
•  Seen a charter guest naked.
•  Been on board when the captain crashed the boat because he was sexting.
•  Had a captain sleep through his night watch.
•  Been fired.
•  Walked off without notice.
•  Had to hide a guest’s cigarettes because she kept smoking in the cabin.
•  Been on a dead ship for more than 48 hours.
•  Brought a prostitute back to my cabin on board.
•  Found strangers enjoying themselves on board.
•  Swam with turtles.
•  Had a surprise coast guard or homeland security inspection on board.•  Bought drugs from a marina worker.
•  Had guests refuse to leave when their charter ended.
•  Had a second engineer remove the wrong pump.
•  Gotten the date wrong for a guest’s birthday.
•  Had guests refuse to eat dinner because they were all in a drunken dispute and not speaking to each other.
•  Had to save another vessel at sea.
•  Had to shoot at pirates trying to board.
•  Bought restaurant food and served it to guests because the chef was passed out.
•  Snuck a hookup on board and gotten away with it.
•  Actually used my free time to learn a new language.
•  Flirted with an owner’s daughter/son.
•  Flirted with an owner.
•  Lied about equipment not working so you didn’t have to set it up.
•  Fired someone because you didn’t like them.
•  Been accused of being a drug runner.
•  Driven an inflatable tender 25 miles to rescue a guest.
•  Seen the captain run the boat aground.
•  Kicked charter guests off mid-charter.
•  Been kicked out of a marina in the middle of the night.
•  Taken the tender to have sex.
•  Had to clean dog poo off of teak.
•  Had to talk a guest out of keeping illegal seafood.
•  Found a gun under a pillow during turndown service.
•  Visited a guest at their home after the charter.
•  Left yachting and went to work for a guest after a charter.
•  Had to sue a yacht for nonpayment.
•  Done donuts in the tender around a waterspout.
•  Had an owner offer to buy me cosmetic surgery.
•  Gotten cosmetic surgery for a yacht job.
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